Delta Offers Bloggers $10,000 Each to Stop Talking About the $10,000 Delta Gave Out to Passengers
ATLANTA, GA — Delta Air Lines announced today it’s offering $10,000 to each blogger who wrote about a flight from Grand Rapids that was allegedly oversold and whose passengers who volunteered to stay behind received $10,000 as a reward.
“Stop This Madness!”
The frequent flyer world was abuzz on Monday after Rene’s Eye of the Flyer Delta Points (or whatever it’s called this week) wrote about a Delta flight from Grand Rapids to Minneapolis.
Delta presumably overbooked the flight and asked people to volunteer. The airline offered $10,000 in compensation to each passenger who accepted the offer until enough volunteers were found.
Then View from the Wing wrote about it on Tuesday.
Soon after, Live and Let’s Fly covered the story.
Paddle Your Own Kanoo added its two cents about the ten thousand dollars.
The Delta Flyer of Rene’s Eye Points added another post about it later Tuesday afternoon.
This reporter has not yet received word from the One Mile at a Time, Frequent Miler, Johnny Boeing, or The Points Guy staff as to when they’ll write about the incident (but they will).
“Please, bloggers, stop this madness,” said Delta Air Lines’ Director of External Blog Relations Anthony Francona. “We’re getting so many frickin’ tweets and emails and calls about this stupid flight.”
He added that people are misunderstanding what the $10,000 figure represents.
“People are asking our reps to book them on the ‘$10,000 flight.’ Then they get all upset when we charge them ten thousand dollars for a Delta One seat from Austin to Atlanta. That, by the way, is a great deal. Anyway, they don’t understand that those poor suckers who had to spend extra time in Grand Rapids got paid $10,000 to stay there for a few hours or a year or however long it is.”
But then Francona and Delta’s Executive Vice President of Down Low Compensation and Confidential Agreements Vicky Sandberg came up with an idea.
“We figured click money and credit card commissions are enough to keep them happy. But I guess not,” he explains. “So, we offered bloggers $10,000 each to stop writing about that darn Grand Rapids flight. That expense will absolutely be worth it to us and probably them.
“Besides we’d rather they spend their time selling the Delta American Express cards and that shiny 747 metal Reserve Amex. There are some good bonus point offers available.”
None of the above bloggers confirmed or denied the Delta offer. But one who spoke off the record to The Takeoff Nap said he was en route to Grand Rapids to test his luck.
The post you just read is…satire