Elon Musk purchases 365 private jets sends them in opposite directions every day to avoid kid who is tracking him

AUSTIN, TX — Billionaire Elon Musk has purchased 365 private jets to help avoid a college kid who is tracking his flight movements around the world. Each jet will move to a different spot in the world every day.

After attempting to pay off a college kid who was using publicly available information to track Billionaire Elon Musk’s private jet movements was rebuffed, Musk is turning the tables on the kid by flexing on him.

Musk deployed a few of his many billions of dollars that were lying around unused to purchase an entire fleet of private jets from various companies. Some planes were purchased used, while others are still to be built.

The CEO’s of several companies were quite shocked at the purchase and are scrambling to actually find parts to build the new aircraft for Musk. The CEO of LearJets, with a 949 million dollar purchase order in hand (a Tweet from Musk, actually), tore up previous purchase orders from the #6 and #7 billionaires on the list of the world’s richest people in order to give their planes to Musk.

The only condition of his purchase with each air carrier was that they must take his order in Dogecoin which sent a few CEOs scrambling to figure out exactly what Dogecoin was. The finance department from one unnamed jet company has already managed to lose access to a crypto wallet during the transaction thereby losing 49 million dollars in the process.

For his part, Musk intends to use the fleet of aircraft to confuse the kid tracking him on Twitter after his payoff attempt failed.

Musk noted that “If this plan doesn’t work then I am just going to buy Twitter, and ban his account. I will literally even buy Gab and Gettr too.” Musk later added, “But not Facebook, cuz Zuck is a bit of dick and I have his plane now anyway.