In a bid to one-up Southwest, Spirit hands out full drum kits to passengers

CBoardingGroup
2 min readSep 26, 2022
In a bid to one-up Southwest, Spirit hands out full drum kits to passengers

ORLANDO, FL — In a bid to one-up Southwest Airlines, rival Spirit Airlines, which was recently purchased by JetBlue, gave out full drum kits to every passenger on a recent Orlando-bound flight.

After Southwest Airlines issued Ukelele’s to passengers on a recent Long Beach to Honolulu flight, before holding an in-flight lesson, Spirit Airlines couldn’t sit idly by and watch another airline gain any ground in the “worst flight you could be on” category.

Despite being recently purchased by JetBlue Airways, the spunky and oft-beleaguered airline refused to cede any ground to Southwest Airlines.

“Flights from hell are our territory,” said Spirit Airlines media relations manager Shandra Grimes, “We pride ourselves on dominating this niche part of the travel experience.”

To reclaim its spot as the world’s worst airline to travel on, the airline issued full drum kits to an entire plane full of passengers on a recent Orlando-bound flight from Denver.

Each passenger was handed an entire 5-piece drum kit along with 2 drum sticks shortly after takeoff. Passengers were then instructed to assemble their kits before participating in a lesson led by Zac Hanson, the vaunted drummer from the elite pop sensation Hanson.

Passengers seemed to enjoy themselves, although because the airline forgot to bring allen wrenches and screwdrivers, the assembly of the drum kits took a little longer than expected, resulting in an abbreviated lesson.

The post you are reading is…satire.

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