JetBlue unveils next phase of hostile takeover plan: forcing Frontier board to acutally fly Spirit
LONG BEACH, CA — JetBlue unveiled the next evolution of its now-hostile takeover plans for Spirit Airlines. Under the new move, JetBlue plans to make the Frontier Airlines board actually fly Spirit Airlines.
In the leaked email, JetBlue CEO Robin Hayes instructed his staff to infiltrate the executive administration staff for the Frontier Airlines board and force them to actually fly Spirit Airlines by booking them on a Spirit flight — ideally to or from a Florida airport.
“Like, has the board actually flown on a Spirit flight, before? Yeah, probably not,” Hayes scolded his staff. “Let’s get ’em on an actual flight so they can see just how bizarre it actually is. There’s no way they’d actually still want to merge with Spirit after that.”
Hayes’ postscript on the revised hostile takeover plan also took a shot at Frontier Airlines when he reminded them just how bad the Denver Airport is.
“Hey, don’t forget to tell Spirit Airlines shareholders that Denver is actually a pretty crappy airport. Honestly, do you really want to be delayed in an airport that has a full scale replica of an Aztec ruin? Yeah, no. Oh, and as a reminder, the Denver Airport isn’t actually in Denver, right? It’s in Southern Wyoming, ok!?” Hayes stated in the rambling addendum.